There are times in our lives when whatever the bigger picture is doesn't make much sense. When we can't see the reasoning behind everything. When we feel as though life is especially unfair.
This is one of those times…
And I've always been told that in these times, we should cling onto our faith. That having faith in a bigger picture makes tragedy easier to bear. That believing in there being a reason for everything may ease some of the pain.
But not this time…
This time I'm screaming why. I'm begging for a glimpse at the bigger picture. I'm losing my faith. This time I'm mad. I'm pissed.
I'm seething with a level of rage I've never experienced before.
I want to understand. I want to know in what universe someone as good and loving as you being ripped away is something that is… explainable. Something that can be written off as a choice that was made.
And if this was someone's choice then...
Why you?
Out of every miserable person on this planet. Out of all of the horrible people left behind. Out of everyone that's ever done some despicable act.
Why YOU?
Explain it to me, because there is an anger inside of me that I can't shake. I want to explode. I want to yell at God. I want to demand answers from Him.
Because where is He as we are left with these gaping holes in our hearts? Because why choose a good person when there are plenty bad He could take? Because why hit a family that hasn't had a moment to breathe in years?
Because why choose to hurt people that love and believe in Him? Why let people experience this pain? Why take people's hearts and discard them so carelessly?
FUUUUUUUUCK!
I just need to know why… Why you?
We still needed you.
And if there was any fairness or mercy on this God forsaken planet, you would still be here... and we would still be whole.