I think that we’re supposed to hate each other now. I’m supposed to blame you for not realizing that your husband is a monster that was hurting me. I’m supposed to hate you for loving a man that brought so much evil into my life.
And you’re meant to blame me for coming forward and tearing apart your happy life. You're meant to blame me for his mistakes so you don’t have to face the reality that you fell for such an awful man. While I’m not sure if you hate or resent me for what he’s done, I don’t blame you for the pain I’m in.
Because I'd be a fool to think that I'm the only victim in this situation. To think that you weren't hurt by him too. That he didn't turn your life upside down, just as he did mine.
We have too much in common for me to convince myself that you’re anything other than one of his victims. So much in fact, that if I blame you for what he’s done to me, I’d have to blame myself... and I can’t think like that again.
You see, we were both hurt by your husband. We were fooled by the charming mask he wore for the world, and crushed by the monster he became. Our lives will be forever stained by him and the horrible things he’s done.
I will carry the scars he left, just like you carry his name. Like a banner, screaming to the world that we've been broken. That we've met the devil incarnate and he almost had us beat.
I’m sure you are just as disgusted with him as I am. The thought of him makes us sick, both literally and figuratively. I feel like I’ll never be able to wash myself clean of him, just like you can’t seem to rid your home or heart of him.
We've both been asking ourselves how we didn't see this coming and successfully blamed ourselves for being so naive. His name is something neither of us are quite ready to say, because a name makes him human, and we don’t want to believe a human could be so evil. His face haunts me every time I close my eyes, just like imagining what he did to me haunts you.
He’s ruined the both of us. We’ll never be able to trust someone like we once did. Forever suspicious of every charming person that comes along.
Always too ashamed to be completely honest about him with those in our future. Hiding him away, burying him deep beneath all of our other secrets; because what are they compared to him? Both of our lives forever tarnished by the vile creature he is.
Whether we like it or not, we’re connected. Joined together by the darkness he’s left us with. You are the only other person that can truly understand what it’s like to be hurt by this man. What it’s like to try and breathe again after he took away the will to live.
So no, I don’t hate you or blame you. What I do, is pray for you, and hope that one day this situation and his name becomes an easier burden to bear. I wish for us both to show him that we are not just strong enough to make it through this, but enough to be happy one day too. You without him, and me in spite of him.
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