In case I don't get better, there are letters in my desk drawer. I've left some for all of the big events I may miss out on one day. There are also ones for the hard moments where my voice may be of some comfort.
In case I don't get better, I've written out how to take care of everything I've left behind. There's no need to stress or worry, I've made all the decisions and taken the steps. I never wanted to be your burden.
In case I don't get better, get all your tears out at my service. I don't want to watch you waste your life crying over me. I don't want to be the reason for your sad days when I didn't even want to face my own.
In case I don't get better, don't be too angry with me. I was enraged at the world enough for the both of us. Don't let it eat away at you like I did.
In case I don't get better, know that it wasn't for lack of trying. I've fought my entire lifetime to experience better days while standing by your side. Not getting better was never the first or easiest option.
In case I don't get better, never doubt that you did everything you could for me. I saw you fighting alongside me through the thickest of the thick and thin. You threw more punches than even I could manage at times.
In case I don't get better, don't let the world convince you that I chose to leave YOU. Don't let them make you believe that losing you and this life was my easy way out. You have never been someone that anyone in their right mind would simply choose to leave.
In case I don't get better, know that I know that I've loved and been loved. I've felt your love; I've heard it; I've known it and I can only hope you feel the same.
In case I don't get better, know that I went out a warrior. I took my demons down with me. I swung every swing I could muster and I ended up winning the war.
In case I don't get better, don't fear for me. I'm at peace with it all. I've never seen better days. My demons can't come out to play here.
In case I don't get better, know that I found our angels. They welcomed me with open arms. I got my wings and I'm looking out for you from above.
In case I don't get better…
Just know that, I've gotten better.
This post is dedicated to all of the angels we've lost to suicide.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or dial 911 in case of emergency.