I get the concept of taking your time and getting to know one another. I completely understand not wanting to rush into anything. What I don’t understand is knowing someone for months, liking someone and sharing your world with them for months, and still not defining your relationship or "making it official".
You two act like you’re dating, yet you won’t put that label on it. You two don’t see other people, because it would feel like cheating, but according to you, you’re not together. I don’t understand why you would be in a relationship that doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere.
No one wants to tell the guy hitting on them that they have a guy friend that they like, that they might end up with. What kind of nonsense is that? If she has to use 20 different words to tell someone who you are to her, she probably won’t mention you.
If she can’t tell someone you’re her boyfriend (because of your inability to DTR) then that someone will 9 times out of 10 use that against you. That label is what she uses as a defense against creeps and unwanted attention. That label helps her feel safe, because she doesn’t have to get nasty or rude, all she needs to do it throw that label out there and the creeps leave.
Let me put it this way. The guy hitting on the girl you’ve been talking to for months is going to try and make her feel insure about you to get her to flirt back. If you knew what you had and really liked her and cared for her, wouldn’t you have made her your girlfriend already?
If you were planning on moving forward with her, wouldn’t you have done it already? I’m sure you’ve had plenty of girlfriends in the past, so why is she not good enough for that title? Is it really that you want to take things slow, or are you playing games with her? Can you not define your relationship with her because you have another undefined relationship?
Don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just letting you know what’s bound to happen. If you really like someone, then they’re worth taking a chance on. If you honestly felt the way you tell her you do, you would have already defined the relationship, just so you could tell everyone that she’s yours.
Most guys that have been talking to the same girl for months are already acting like they’re dating. If that’s the case, what’s wrong with a label? Is she not good enough to have that title? Is there something about her that you don’t like?
If this is the case, then you need to make it clear you don’t want a relationship with her. She’s not a child and I can guarantee that she’s had a failed relationship before. Don’t let her get attached if you don’t plan on letting your relationship progress farther than two people “talking".
If you’ve had someone in your life for a few months and are not sure if you like them, chances are that you don’t. You should be honest about this, so she can move on. It’s not fair to keep her because you can’t make a decision.
If you do like her, then grow a pair and call her your girlfriend. She will not wait around forever. Especially when she’s just the girl you’re “talking" to. It’s not worth waiting in that case.
I’m not telling you to marry her, or jump into a relationship after hanging out one time. I’m not talking to the guy that just met a girl he thinks he might like. I’m not talking to the guy that has several un-defined relationships.
I’m talking to those guys that seem to think it’s okay to keep a girl, one girl, waiting around after months. I’m talking to the guy that tells her he misses her when she’s not around and the guy that knows all of her secrets and has spilled all of his. If she thinks you’re worth enough to stick around for that long, you may have found the relationship worth defining.
Best Wishes,
A Girl Worth The Label