I don't miss you. I'm completely over the you that I experienced while we were together. I've moved on from the guy that only cared about himself.
I've had enough time with the guy who made his first priority going out and getting drunk. I wasted enough time on you. I had enough let downs from you to last a lifetime.
So no, I don't miss you. Not even a little bit.
What I miss is the man I built you up to be. I miss the man I made myself believe you were. I miss him, not you.
I miss the "good morning beautiful" texts that you never sent unless I texted you. I miss you opening the door for me, if my hands were full and I couldn't get it on my own.
I miss you offering to pump gas, only if we were in a hurry and I had to go in to pay. I miss you coming to my door to pick me up, when I wasn't finished getting ready and you didn't have ac in the car.
I miss you hanging out with my family, only if they were feeding you. I miss going on adventures with you, even though you were pissed you'd gotten lost and did nothing but complain the whole time.
I miss the sweet things you'd say to me, to make up for yelling at me. I miss the flowers you'd get me, to make up for getting drunk and fighting with me about nothing.
I miss the long posts about how much you loved and appreciated me, to make up for me finding out about that one mistake. I miss you holding me, when I was crying because of something you'd said.
That was my reality, but what I was imagining was all of those sweet things without the nightmare attached to it. I wasn't paying attention to the bad, because that hurt too much. I didn't want to see you for who you really were.
I don't miss you. I don't miss the yelling, fighting, or crying. I don't miss the guy that blamed every one of our problems on me. I don't miss the guy that got drunk and cheated on me.
I don't miss the guy that had nothing good to say about my family. I don't miss the guy that called me every rude and nasty name he could think of. I don't miss the guy that was always trying to impress other people by "putting me in my place".
I miss the sweet things you did. I don't miss what led you to do those things. I don't miss you.
I miss the actions that I was able to hold onto and mold into this picture of a perfect you. I miss the times that I clung to make myself forget all of the bad.
But don't misunderstand... I'm completely through with, and over you and your crap.
I'll find a man that can do all of the sweet things without being a complete douche.
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