You're Not My Friend

You're not my friend.

Sure, I'm the person you call when you have a problem.

The one you call to vent to after a hard day.

The one that's invited to or plans every celebration.

The one you lean and depend on.

The one you know will drop everything and run to you if you need them.

But those things make me your friend...

And just because I am yours does not mean you are mine.

You are the first call I make that never answers.

The one always invited with every excuse not to show.

The one that sees my pain and is too busy to care.

The one I talk to and know they aren't listening.

The one who has made it clear I'm expendable and unimportant.

You are not my friend.

You are a daily reminder of my inadequacy.

My uselessness.

My stupidity.

My gullibility.

My worthlessness.

A reminder of every bad thing I see in myself.

And I keep you around because I can't blame you for it. If I can't see anything more in myself, it wouldn't be fair for me to expect you to.

But my failure in ridding my life of you doesn't mean I believe in our friendship.

I know you're not my friend...

I'm just not my friend either.