I have to give it to you, you are very good at the games you play. That’s not a compliment. It means you’re either a complete jerk or you really know how to find the most vulnerable girl to mess with. I think it was both, but I know that part of this equation was my being so naive, and that I can't blame everything on you.
I gave you what you needed to manipulate me... You just used it.
You ruined me; to the point that I still have panic attacks when I see you or hear your name. You are a horrible person. You are the man every parent warns their children about.
You are the man you'll warn your daughter about one day, but you'll be too ashamed to tell her how you know as much as you do. Will you tell her about me? Will you warn her against men like yourself; Or will you ignore it?
What would you do if your daughter came home and told you that she's falling for a guy that she's never mentioned before because he's older and you won't approve? Would you let him hurt her like you hurt me, or would you tell her she can't see him again and pray to God she listens? Maybe you'll notice it in time to stop her, or maybe you won't and you'll have to sit back and watch as her life spirals out of control like my parents did.
What if he makes her feel more beautiful and more important than anyone ever has, but you know that he's just playing on her insecurities? What would you say if she came home and told you that she's finally found someone that understands that horrible thing in her past because it happened to him, but you know that it's a lie he's told to make her feel more comfortable.
What would you do if she came home and told you that he’s started lying? Would you finally tell her that you know what will happen? What would you do if she came home and told you that he apologized and said he loves her, when you know that the love he's lying about could not compare to the love she has for him?
And what if she came home and you could tell that she gave him a piece of herself that she could never get back... Would you finally tell her about me? Would you explain to her that you know what would happen next because you did it? Would you warn her that he would ruin her like you ruined me? Would you mourn for her, because she hadn’t yet realized what she gave up?
What would you do if she came home heartbroken because he was seen with someone else? Would you see how much it's destroying her and finally feel remorse for what you did to me? Would you tell her our story?
As much as I want you to feel guilty and regret what you did to me, I would never want that for anyone. I would never want someone to hurt the way you hurt me. I would never want a young girl to feel as broken as you made me feel.
I wish that I had been smart enough to end our story there. But like I said, I was young, and stupid, and I believed I was in love with you. I don't regret that it didn’t end, because our story kept other girls from having stories like this...
That's not completely true... I didn't make you stop on my own. That girl's parents had a lot to do with stopping you.
They told you to say away from her; that you were too old to be around her. You should’ve listened. When I found out the girl you'd been seen with was a couple years younger than me, I began to distance myself. I felt disgusted and repulsed by the thought of it.
You tried to convince me that it was all just a big misunderstanding, but if you loved me why would you be with another girl? If it was a mistake why would you go against her parents and cause yourself so much trouble? This poor girl was just a younger version of me...
This is where those panic attacks kick in...
If I had to pin point when it started to go really bad, it would be the first phone call I ignored from you. I'd never done that before, purposely ignored you, but I needed space. I was trying to choose logic over my heart.
Was that phone call why you decided to terrify me until I reached my breaking point? I have to ask... did you ask your cousins to start stalking me, or did they volunteer?
Did you tell them to come my workplace; to wait for me to leave and walk to my car in the middle of the night? What were they going to do? What would have happened to me if my friend hadn't walked me to my car?
Did you know that at least one of them watched me every shift? I can’t count how many times they were told to leave me alone. It was your brother that finally got caught. Did he tell you that he saw my car and assumed I was there? Did he tell you that it wasn't me driving that day, and that my mom had taken my car?
Did he tell you that she caught him waiting for me and he ran from her? Did he mention that she followed him? And what about the message that my mom gave him when she caught up; that she wasn’t scared of you all and wouldn't hesitate to protect me.
I can't accuse you of being predictable. I thought you’d give up or send more of your family to watch me, but to send your best friend after me...
I honestly never saw it coming. I thought he was being genuine when he said he didn't agree with the way you treated me. I thought he was just being honest when he told me how badly he thought of you.
Was he next because he was your best friend, or because you knew that he was a possessive psycho? Was it a game you two played with each other; let's see which one of us can terrorize her more and leave her more broken? Well... Congratulations, you won.
I've gotten over you and moved on, but I haven't gotten over the hell you put me through. I wish I was strong enough not to let you get to me. One day I will be. One day you'll walk by and I won't even notice. I hope it stings a little knowing that I'm okay after all the effort you put in to make sure I wasn't, and I hope you regret it.
I've finally realized that you didn't ruin me, you ruined the girl I was. But I'm okay with that, because I like this version of myself so much more. This version would've never fallen for you to begin with.
-The Girl That's No Longer a Fool